Tom may be OT99 and Clear of Aliens, but not Italians

A funny thing happened on the way to the alter for Tommie Cruise missile - he seems to have misjudged the Italians. You know Catholics: pretty picky about who they marry and stuff like, oh, previous multiple divorces and documentation and all. (Sarcasm meter pegged 100%)

I think what the priest really meant to say was, "Sorry Tom. You're a freak and you are an apostle of that dangerous cult called Scientology."

So, just for you Tom - a little reading to prepare you for this:

Catholicism for Dummies